Survivor since 2012
Sorry I'm late chiming in.
The diagnosis itself is a complete shock to your system, from head to toe. It comes out of left field and you're never ready for it. When they tell you you need a single or double mastectomy it's like getting hit again.
Women's breasts have an "aura" about them, if you will. Many women have fed their babies, lured partners, or proudly shown them off. Now they want to remove them???? It's part of our identity and it does take a while to get used to the idea.
Post-surgery, the first time you see yourself it may also be shocking. What used to be there isn't there anymore. You'll look so different. But just keep thinking, what about the alternative? If I didn't have the mastectomies I may have died.
Reconstruction is amazing -- I've had it done 3 times! What plastic surgeons can do is wonderful. They can practically bring back your old breasts. They may not function the same, feel the same, or quite look the same, but you'll have breasts. You'll be able to fill out your clothes and your bathing suits, and even wear V-neck dresses and the like. They can make cleavage for you!
I know this is a VERY difficult time. Acceptance of it all takes a while. As I said in another post, I have always looked at this like I'm on the top of a ski hill. You just have to point your skis downhill and go.
Best of luck to you!