loading... close

Has anyone experienced doctors and surgeons being less than empathatic and actually quite curt? Any advice? My mother has DCIS and I'm thinking we have time to switch doctors/medical groups.

Malerie Trujillo Profile
Asked by

anonymous

Family Member or Loved One over 4 years
Topics
 
  • Thumb avatar default
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    A slightly different perspective: I first of all wanted an excellent surgeon and cared less about the doctor's personality. My surgeon was extremely competent and well known. Did he always say exactly what I might have said, no, but I was hiring the competency not the personality. He was kind, but he was not the most socially adept person ( not because he did not care, but because interpersonal skills were not his forte). I trusted totally his judgment and recommendations, which was worth overlooking some of the rough spots in the word choice, etc. However, he was always respectful, never rude, and never subject to the 'God syndrome". If he had been, I would have looked elsewhere. Hope this makes sense.
    over 4 years Flag
    • Malerie Trujillo Profile
      anonimamente
      Membro da família ou uma pessoa querida

      Thank you, I totally agree about the doctor's medical skills outweighing his social ones.

      over 4 years Flag
    • Sharon Danielson Profile
      anonymous
      Survivor since 2007

      I SOOO agree with this. I was lucky to have a personable and fabulous surgeon. Surgeon's, notoriously, are NOT "people" people. That is not what you are going to them for.... they could charm the socks off you and be just a hack of a doctor. ...

      more

      I SOOO agree with this. I was lucky to have a personable and fabulous surgeon. Surgeon's, notoriously, are NOT "people" people. That is not what you are going to them for.... they could charm the socks off you and be just a hack of a doctor. You want skill as the number one, all the rest can dribble along behind. Your mom is not going to be having a long range relationship with the surgeon. If she had to go through some extended treatment, the people-skills would really have to be in-the-mix. Take care, Sharon

      over 4 years Flag
  • marg phillips Profile
    anonymous
    Stage 1 Patient
    If you are not comfortable and not getting good vibes, definitely switch doctors. You need to feel comfortable and confident with your care givers and treatments. Good luck.
    over 4 years Comment Flag
  • Jill M. Profile
    anonymous
    stage_2a Patient
    Switch! I'm in the middle of all this and I know if I didn't have caring doctors (who were willing to let me whine from time to time) I'd never make it!!
    over 4 years Comment Flag
  • Betti A Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2013
    I used to work in the medical profession and know what it is like to work with doctors who think they are "God". Your mom and her family need to be comfortable with who is treating her and that being said, I say switch to someone else who better suits her and you.
    over 4 years Comment Flag
  • Alison Soule Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2011
    I had that experience and went to another cancer center ---I'm in Boston so I ended up at Dana Farber. They are the epitome of compassion
    over 4 years Comment Flag
  • Marianne R. Profile
    anonimamente
    Sobrevivente desde 2011
    This is a difficult journey if you don't have a team you are working with and are comfortable with this treatment will be even more stressfull and difficult. Take the time and find out what your other choices are you might find someone who works much better with your mom. Remember the final choice is your mother's and you have work with her choice. I felt so out of control during the early part of the treatment the last thing I needed is someone to pick my doctors for me.
    over 4 years Flag
    • Malerie Trujillo Profile
      anonymous
      Family Member or Loved One

      Thanks Marianne, being overbearing is something I am consciencely trying not to do. Which is why I haven't even brought the idea of switching to her yet.

      over 4 years Flag
    • Marianne R. Profile
      anonymous
      Survivor since 2011

      Talk to her she may not think it is an option. Check her insurance and find out what the options are. There is no harm in doing the research you just have to live with her choice.

      over 4 years Flag
  • Alison Soule Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2011
    And at 31, I needed Compassion, not to be treated like another statistic
    over 4 years Comment Flag
  • Leah Fortune Profile
    anonimamente
    Stage 4 Paciente
    Mine was s good surgeon hated his staff and his bedside manner. Get a new one you have time.
    over 4 years Comment Flag
  • Thumb avatar default
    anonymous
    Stage 2A Patient
    When I first met with the oncologist after my surgery I immediately didn't feel comfortable. She never made eye contact and had barely looked at my chart. My husband and mom were both with me and had the same opinion. I immediately got a second opinion and loved the next onc. I have had wonderful experience with caring and kind doctors with the exception of this one and it make all the difference. I suggest seeking another. Best wishes!
    over 4 years Comment Flag

Educational Video

Personal Story

Related Topics

Looking for another topic?
Use the search box in the top right.

Footer 1

An Early Detection Plan (EDP) significantly increases the chances of surviving breast cancer.

spread the word