Survivor since 2011
Oops, i wasn't ready to send...I guess "enter" means send! I was going to also mention that I didn't realize that I was angry for a while--it's a feeling that we're not supposed to have, so it's hard to channel it. It usually comes out as sadness, but really, sometimes I just wanted to yell and scream! At the appt. take notes so she doesn't have to. Ask questions you have and any she's afraid to go ask but still wants to the answers. Be sure she likes the team of doctors. If they're not compassionate, find someone else. When she needs someone, be there. Hang out, make dinner, listen, and know that you will not fully understand what she's going through (unless of course, you've been through it)--so if she takes anything out on your or other loved ones, it's not personal...it's just frustration and anger that she doesn't know how else to channel. Don't forget to laugh!! Have fun and do things when she's well enough. funny movies, funny stories, jokes, books, etc. all of it helps! stay away from too many cancer movies/books right now, unless their informational. I made the mistake of reading a book about 4 women and two end up dying, which is not what I wanted to read about at the time. However, I did like The Middle Place, but I probably should have waited to read it--just a little sad, but also uplifting. I related to a lot of feelings the author had when she was diagnosed. Also, remember, at times some things might sound irrational from her, but let her say what she wants. she needs to express it. I know this all seems like emotional help, but that is what I felt like I needed the most. I just powered through my treatments and didn't take the time to realize what feelings I was having until January (I started chemo june 2011) when my radiation ended. Then I was like, "now what?" and all the emotions caught up with me. You might investigate some support groups or things like walks for survivors/patients--there is so much out there and she might not have time or energy to look into it right now. She also might not be ready to do any of it, but it can't hurt to have the info and keep track of things. If I think of anything else, I'll post more later. Best wishes to you both.